Archive for August, 2010

You’ve got to get yourself together. You’ve got stuck in a moment, and you can’t get out of it. Don’t say that later will be better. Now you’re stuck in a moment, and you can’t get out of it. And if the night runs over, and if the day won’t last, and if your way should falter along this stony pass … It’s just a moment. This time will pass.

The above is an excerpt from U2’s song Stuck In A Moment, and it’s very appropriate for the phase I am in.

If I look around I see what’s wrong in my life – personal and work. If I look to the future, I see the short-comings of the present or the demands of the present. I don’t want to look to tomorrow for a fix and instead want to know how to change my perspective now … in the moment. I don’t know how to live in the present because I feel I am always preparing for the future.

I’m stressed out because I am not sure the person I am dating is a long-term partner for me, but I am being pressured to consider moving in together within a few months. I feel trapped in a corner and am shutting down my emotions rather than exploring them.


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There’s no right or wrong to a must-have, but I do believe they evolve as you do. I feel that I have grown in many ways and need to clarify a couple of my must haves that I posted last year. For one, I know I want the person I am dating to appreciate and cherish me. I know I am not perfect, but I want my partner to appreciate me for all that I am and all that I am not. Also, my partner must be authentically interested in me; not my potential.

• Honest with good character
• Loves to laugh
• Mature, but enjoys life
• Follows through on things started
• Financially responsible
• Appreciates/cherishes me as-is
• He must be authentically interested in me
• Challenges me in supportive way to be the best person I can be

What I haven’t stated clearly is my list of deal-breakers. I think my deal-breakers are implied by my list of must-haves, but there shouldn’t be any doubt in this area.

• A current addiction or substance abuse problem
• Self-centered or selfish approach to life
• Doesn’t have a passion for travel
• Unwilling to communicate and share experiences, thoughts and emotions
• Financially irresponsible
• Doesn’t follow through on obligations or promises
• Bad hygiene

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