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Archive for April, 2010

I have been dating a wonderful man for a few months now and will admit things have progressed quickly. As with almost everything, time provides prospective and this is no different. I still don’t know where I am right to be concerned or even annoyed and where I am being a bit too inflexible and impatient.

On paper this man sounds wonderful, and he is. I just don’t know that he is wonderful long-term for me. I’ve had a few “transition” relationships since my divorce and am starting to think this may be one too – just on a higher level.

With my past “transition” relationships I was unwilling to become emotionally invested and kept myself at a distance. It wasn’t that these were only physical relationships, but there was just a limit to how much I could allow myself to feel and become attached. I knew there wasn’t a future in these relationships and I was okay with that because I didn’t want a future from these relationships.

The man I am dating now, and the relationship I am in, is different. I do care about this man and I thought there was a potential future, but am not sure. Let me clarify, I don’t have a need to get married or be in a deep and committed relationship. This is just the first time I have let myself and met someone worthy of thinking of a potential long-term relationship.

As I get to know this man more, I grow more confused about when to compromise. For example, I can’t expect everything to be my way although I am used to living on my own. One of my must-haves in a partner is financial responsibility, but I have realized people define financial responsibility in many ways. I’m not sure I am financially compatible with this man as our thoughts on savings in almost opposite. Coming from a marriage where my spouse was financially irresponsible and a mother who is a shopping addict, I’m not willing to bend much on my definition of financial responsibility.

I also come from a family full of various chemical addictions and hid the addictions of my ex-spouse. I don’t want to return to that way of life and have concerns this man may drink more than I am comfortable with.

Many people reading this blog would probably say any concerns in either area, finances or addiction, are reasons enough to end the relationship. I’m unsure. Am I overly sensitive or simply clear on my boundaries? I honestly don’t know. So, when is good, good enough? When is good a means to settling and giving up?

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