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Archive for July, 2009

It’s no secret that I have signed up with an online dating site. I was hesitant at first and very skeptical. I remain very skeptical and here’s why …

Not all people represent themselves accurately in their profiles or pictures. Granted, sometimes we have a false sense of what we look like and who we are, but posting a 5-year-old photo is of no value. Avatars don’t work either. Pictures of pets are cute and provide some insight into your personality, but I’m evaluating whether or not I want to date you and not your dog, cat, parrot …

Perhaps I am becoming more online dating savvy or perhaps my skepticism is growing, but I believe I have come across several fake profiles. I don’t know for certain, but the photos look like stock photography of businessmen. Another element is a significant change in writing style and grammar. Online the profile is intelligently composed while emails are full of typos, grammatical errors and odd slang. The mix of smilies in addition to awkward compliments and references such as “sexy eyes” and “baby” only adds to my skepticism.

In fact, there is one guy who is very attractive in his profile pics, has an amazing smile and had a fun-spirited and well-written profile. During our email conversations his spelling, grammar and sentence structure is all off. It’s not just slang either. It’s as if the guy, who claims to be American and from the east coast, is illiterate. There is such a discrepancy that I think he is an inmate using the same online dating site to meet women.

I really don’t think this is paranoia, but instead perception and intuition. What do you think?

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I’ve had quite a few dates in the last few weeks. In fact, I almost feel like an escort because there haven’t been many second dates. Most of this is by choice, but there are those times where my interest in my date is greater than their interest in me. I don’t think I am being picky, per se, but you be the judge on the date recaps provided below …

Tornado Date 1

Received email through online dating site from guy who lives in Florida but works in my area quite a lot. He saw my profile and hoped we could me. “He’s looking for that special lady in his life and distance isn’t an issue.” After a few email exchanges and a phone conversation over the course of a week I decide to meet the guy while he is in town.

He takes me out to dinner in a nice local restaurant and asks if it is okay if he orders for me. He asks what I like and don’t like and picks an entrée for me. He also orders the wine as he has stated he is a wine connoisseur. To be honest, I doubt I could tell a one decent wine from the other.

The date and conversation take an interesting turn as the guy tells me about his time serving in the Israeli army and how he knows how to kill a many in hundreds of ways. Not the best first date conversation. (I should qualify at this point, that I never have a first date pick me up at my house. I always meet them somewhere public.) He then goes into a detailed account of why he doesn’t think O.J. killed his wife and how he would have done it. At this point, I am feeling uneasy, but figure the guy is clueless. Besides, we’re in a very public place eating dinner.

From here, he begins to talk about various pressure points on the body and demonstrates on my hand to the point of hurting. I pull my hand away and tell him that hurt. He tries to kiss me and I turn my head offering my cheek. I don’t know this guy well enough to kiss him and he is starting to raise red flags.

We continue with our meal and conversation through which he tells me how wealthy and influential he is. I hear untold stories of celebrity encounters and VIP treatment within various establishments throughout the world.

My exit cue was when the guy tried to kiss me for the third time. This time he grabbed the hair on the back of my head by the roots and turned my head into his and tried to kiss me. He didn’t lightly grab my hair, but really pulled it so that it hurt. I pulled back and told him I wasn’t comfortable with this. His response … “Your loss.”

Really? I don’t think it was a loss on my part at all. In fact, I think I am lucky to have ended our encounter there.

 

Tornado Date 2

Again, I decide to meet a guy I met through an online dating site. His pictures were attractive and his profile seemed nice. Our emails were fun and our conversations easy. We decided to go out for a motorcycle ride to see a local waterfall and then stop at a nearby casino.

I meet the guy in a public place and he is much larger than any of his online photos show him to be. Don’t get me wrong, I am not so idealistic as to think every guy has to have 6-pack abs. I certainly don’t, but my profile pictures are recent and show my true appearance. What you see is what you get.

The biggest turn off wasn’t his weight, but oral hygiene. I swear his gums were very red and swollen! I do like nice teeth, but not everyone has a perfect smile. I can deal with that. I can’t date a guy who doesn’t brush his teeth or has infected gums.

I didn’t notice the swollen gums until we were at the casino and stopped for dinner. He was sitting right across from me so I had a clear view. Our conversation was boring, difficult to keep going and just overall awkward. He talked about math algorithms and science experiments. I have some interest in math and science and also know I am an intelligent person. I also know talking about minute details of subjects your date isn’t into is not a great first impression. I’m not saying be someone you aren’t, but you should be aware.

As we drove home and ended our date I realized not only how large this man really was, but that he also had a sweating problem.

 

Tornado Date 3

This is an easy one to sum up … meet someone online, exchange emails and texts, meet for dinner and listen to the other person tell you how great they are.

The only benefit to this date was I didn’t have to pay for parking.

 

Neither of the dates above went past date #1. Some lasted longer than they should of even as a first date.

I don’t think I am being picky. I think my concerns and gripes are grounded. There are people out there where what I find alarming or unattractive would be the opposite for them – and I am truly grateful. For me, there is a simple list of must-haves and a very flexible and short list of nice-to-haves.

 

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