I’ve heard the “Dating Rule of 3.” No, not going on threesome date or dating three people at a time. Instead, it suggests you wait until the third date to kiss and then three months until you have sex.
Really? Should you be so structured? I agree you shouldn’t just jump into physical affection and intimacy, but don’t agree you can schedule it according to a calendar.
Dating someone new is awkward and it takes time to get to know one another. At first both people generally have their personal space defined and are very aware of how they are presenting themselves – what they are saying and how they are behaving. (Most people, not all.)
The initial dates tend to be more analytical and calculated as you feel each other out and uncover likes, dislikes, similarities and differences. Of course there is a mix of flirtation included too if you like the person.
Flirtation can be subtle or can hit you over the head like a caveman with a club. Subtle flirtation includes mirroring the other person’s body movements, light innuendo, smiles, eye contact and respectful touching such as holding your date’s hand.
How can you break the ice and close or lessen personal space? If talking about a book you are reading, go sit by your date and reference a particular section where you must read it together. If at a casual restaurant or coffee shop, doodle on paper napkins together or even pass short notes back and forth. Guys can even compliment a bracelet a woman is wearing and holding her arm/hand to get a better look.
If sitting at a bar, and you have been talking for a while, turn into your date and allow the tips or your knees to touch or put your foot on the rung of your date’s bar stool. Watch how soon before one of you touches the other’s leg – just don’t grope. Keep is short and simple.
It’s amazing how being close intensifies attraction. Just pay attention to signals from your date to ensure the attraction is mutual. You don’t want to be written off as a weirdo because you crossed into personal space unwantedly.
Awesome post and great advice!